Sunday, March 14, 2010

Hot Pockets

So we are getting closer to the estimated time of arrival. Now, to clear up any confusion, the baby is not here. And I will make a witty post to signify the baby's arrival (touchdown, the Phan-izzle is here-izzle, the Hot Pocket is hot) as soon as it happens. So don't worry. Also, to clear up any some more confusion, the Wifey, technically was in labor. Pregnancy itself is not an exact science, just like the medical field in general, there are always some sort of abnormalities. Doctors rely on precedent, history, and symptoms to help estimate their diagnoses. And based on the Wifey's symptoms, history, and precedent, she was technically in the early stages of labor. There are three stages of labor: early, active, and post.

Early labor is similar to arriving at a restaurant. You mull over what to drink and order an appetizer. Usually its a tennis match of back and forth decisions that eventually leads to a "whatever you want, I'm fine with anything." The appetizer gives you an idea of what to expect for the main course. Did the waiter bring you your extra plates? Did the food come out on time? If these cheese sticks taste like this, how will the rest of my meal taste?
Active means you're ordering the main course and hoping the waiter sees your empty glass of water before you start slurping the ice cubes like you're trying to suck the water out of the last cactus in the Sahara. So many decisions and factors get played. What do I want? How much is it? Is it asparagus season? Where the hell is my refill? And then you order and get your food.
Finally, post labor is like finally paying the bill on your food. Was it worth it? How much do I tip the guy? And then you leave and hope you don't leave your leftovers on the table.

The Wifey and I were treated to an appetizer but we're still waiting...

The countdown has begun for Phan-izzle to be here-izzle as the estimated due date is 3/20. Everything is as ready as it can be. One of the biggest things that the Wifey wanted to do was to be able to go the St Patty's Day Parade and she accomplished that. And now it's just the waiting game.

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