Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The 7pm Crazies

Every night, at 7pm, the Monster begins her transformation. She's usually a sweet girl who is eager to tell us about her day, spends time drawing pictures and working on her alphabet, maybe even quietly watches television as she snacks. But then as soon the clock strikes 7pm, something switches and she becomes the biggest pain ever. It's like Cinderella but totally opposite.

The Monster will just start running crazy through house, jumping and doing backflips off the couches. It's like our living room suddenly turned into a parkour course. She will strip down and throw her toys everywhere, make it rain with her bowl of rice. I don't know what happens but she just starts going crazy. It's like all her energy is built up for that one very moment and it becomes unleashed on everyone in the house.

The Wifey has started incorporating Kid's Yoga before she goes to bed and it seems to work for the most part. But going to bed is still a pain as the Monster still finds a way to annoy the hell out of us.

But despite all her craziness she's still just a kid. I have now mentally prepared myself when the clock gets closer to 7pm.

Friday, November 14, 2014

My Struggle So Far

I get asked a lot how life is with two kids and I usually give the generic, "it's about the same" response.

And I guess for dad's who are about to get another addition to the family, it doesn't help. I want to tell you that your routines will change, you'll be needed even more than the first time, your plate becomes that much more full.

But for me, it doesn't. And maybe it's just me and my situation and it's just this point in my life and in everyone's life that makes my experience with the second child that much more difficult.

It's nothing against Pillow; I adore her and love her and she really brings a smile to my face every time she smiles back. She may cry but that brief 30 seconds where she is too tired to scream again and she just rests her head on my chest makes it all worthwhile. Or at least until she gets her 2nd, 3rd, and 4th wind.

But my struggle with this second child is the fact that I feel incredibly alone. It's a battle for attention from the Wifey and I am competing against two other people. One who is literally attached to her and the other one who has mastered the four year old tantrum.

I hang out with the Monster and we interact by taking turns playing video games or me teaching her how to punch, just in case if there are other threatening four year old boys. But as soon as the Wifey gets home, the Monster quickly makes me aware that she's bored of me.

And from that moment going forward I'm a loner. A lot of it is just me not speaking up and communicating my feelings but as soon as the Wifey gets home she's off to feeding Pillow. And then it's listening to the Monster talk about her day and everything she can think of. Then it's dinner and catching up on shows and on each other's day. That's it. She used to come home and immediately and give me a kiss and a hug but now that time is filled with kicking off her boots and fighting off the Monster. Sometimes I can manage to sneak in a kiss when she's washing the baby bottles and an affectionate hug until the Monster comes running and screaming "oooh family hug!"

It doesn't help the situation that we also are sharing our bed with everyone. The Monster won't sleep in her room and rather than put up a fight every night, we've just given up. And Pillow sleeps a little better if she's being cuddled and at this point, I am all for anything to get the Wifey a few extra minutes of sleep here and there.

I guess I just miss my wife and a sense of affection/attention. And that's why communication is even more important with more kids in the house. That's my struggle so far and I know eventually it will pass but right now all I can do is just sit on my side of the couch.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

An Overdue Update

I guess it's been awhile.

Pillow is fast approaching 5 months old. She's definitely not the same as the Monster (my nickname for Baby) but I guess it could be that my memory might be skewed. It seems Pillow is always crying or being fussy around me. I've mentioned a few times how she doesn't really like me. It's like she heard all the crazy things I said in the womb and is holding a grudge against me. Monster is a four year old. Sassy, rude, and the best big sister ever. It really freaks me out how much she helps with Pillow - how she will give Pillow her pacifier if she starts crying or she'll put a blanket over her if she things she might be too cold. Or the countless reminders that she's probably hungry or needs a diaper change.

But through all my frustrations with a newborn who won't stop crying if I come even close to her and a four year old who will snap back with "don't argue with me" replies, I am still incredibly grateful for the Wifey. She hasn't once complained about my incredible ability to sleep through anything while Pillow is screaming in the middle of the night. She operates on only stretches of sleep, an hour and half here and there throughout the night. And then her alarm will go off and she will help me get Monster ready for daycare.

I've been trying to help around when and where I can. Making dinner, cleaning the house, and just making sure she is relaxed as possible. I hope she understands how truly grateful we are as a family to have her around. All I know is if she wasn't around, there would be a crying baby and a little kid wearing shirts inside out to hide the stains.

But I know everyone comes for the pictures, so here are some from the camera roll.