Monday, February 15, 2010

I'm on a horse

Looks like things are picking up in the Phan household in regards to the arrival of the baby. A little over 4 weeks away from the anticipated introduction to the newest family member. Wifey has been complaining a lot more about her pain but I just tell her to walk it off, rub some dirt in it. We were planning to do some damage to the baby's room this weekend but the recent, copious amount of snow put us on a detour. I am also trying to do some homemade electrical work; like re-wiring the baby's room but it's a little more complicated and dangerous than likes to actually describe. So we have a missing ceiling fan and a nice sign that simply says "do not turn on, hot wire."

Anyways, in the world of pregnancy there are some really weird things that are experienced, such as the much publicized and over-hyped phenomena of "cravings". There's also the craze of this thing called "nesting". Unfortunately, the Wifey feels she's too good for such pregnant fads and I have taken on those pregnant duties. Now, for those who do know me, I won't lie; I know my way around a kitchen. In fact, if there was a game show similar to Supermarket Sweep set in the kitchen, I am pretty sure I would dominate the show a la Ken Jennings and Jeopardy. But it's also common sense that you always go for the hams and turkeys and diapers during the Big Sweep. But anyways, I seem to have the most cravings, but not for anything weird, just craving for things. I was hoping the Wifey would get some awesome cravings so I could try out some Iron Chef quality concoctions but she is as plain as vanilla. Her only big thing is chocolate milk. Boooring.

So there's this other thing that goes on that I didn't realize happened until I went to the baby class called 'nesting'. Basically its when the woman gets all crazy and cleans and prepares the house for the baby like a bird's nest. That has not happened. In fact, I seem to be the one who's cleaning the house and building things and getting ready for the baby. I even have to make sure we stay on track to get things purchased, otherwise the Wifey will stay in bed and nap all day and sip on her precious chocolate milk. I've been moving beds, rearranging rooms, exposing electrical wires, cleaning out rooms, making rooms messy again, and hanging up shower curtains. And I must say, the cheap shower curtain rings, the ones that you snap into place are not that fun. My hands cramped from just threading the curtain through.

But I don't mind. It can be annoying when I spend an hour putting together a baby stroller that has only three parts. And then spend another hour trying to figure out how to remove the car seat from the stroller. It's crazy knowing that there is an alien forming in the Wifey's stomach. I still freak out seeing body parts protrude from her body but it's also calming and reassuring just resting my head to hear the heartbeat or the baby farting. It's pretty crazy knowing that in a span of 8 months so much has changed but everything is going to change ten-fold when the Stork finally drops the baby off. I know the Wifey is annoyed every time I ask her "is it time?"

And that leads me to another thing. I think with every big event of your life, there's always that one question. For example, when you finally start dating someone seriously, the big question that gets asked is, "so when is the big day?" And then when you finally get married the next question is, "so when will there be little ones running around?" And it seems the biggest question that gets asked when you're expecting a baby is, "are you ready?" Or in my case, "are you ready to be a dad?"

I don't think anybody can say they are ready until the baby finally comes. Look at that Jon Gosselin guy. He has eight kids and I don't think he's nowhere close to being a role model dad. But I am sure he immensely loves each and one of his children. And I am pretty sure if he had to choose between his kids and all his Ed Hardy shirts, he'd pick the kids. At least I hope he would. Luckily I am married to the best wife ever and my future shortcomings as a dad are far overshadowed by how great of a mom she will be.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Who shall say I am not the happy genius of my household?

So the Wifey and I had our first baby scare. Well, not the wifey, but for me. I was sitting in 9 hour long Saturday class when she messages me on my phone asking when I get out of class. I tell her in a couple of hours and immediately ask her "what's up?". Now usually she will ask this question to make sure her boyfriend has enough time to leave the house instead of sneaking out through the window but this time she was telling me she had been having moderately strong contractions for the past few hours.

Now, instinctively, I should have gathered my belongings and ran out of class, but the wifey was adamant I stay in class, that "I had nothing to worry about." And we agreed that she go ahead and go to the emergency room and I will meet her there.

My wife is the most cool, calm, and collected person I know. If she had nothing to worry about, then I didn't have anything to worry about either. She consumes herself everyday with information for this pregnancy; there is no point in me being a worry wart and stressing her out if she is so confident that nothing is wrong.

I made it to Baylor and the Old Ball & Chain was lying in bed watching the TLC show about 4 yr old beauty pageant girls. I ask her again if everything is alright and she reassures me everything is fine. So I curl up in the chair and wait for the doctor to discharge her.

I can't really describe the feelings that flowed through my veins; I paced around the room waiting for the doctor as if birth was imminent, I took a nap on a bed of nails, coming to full attention at the slightest sounds. I really don't know how I am going to act or feel when the baby finally gets squeezed out. All I know is if the Wifey breaks down, then the ship is going to sink for me. So no pressure on her to stay calm so I don't freak out.

So, everything is fine. The bread is staying in the oven for now.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Just a Minor Thing

Wifey and I graduated from baby class last Thursday. We missed one class but still were given the green light to have the first child. The anesthesiologist (thank you Firefox spell check) came in and did his sales pitch on the awesomeness of epidurals. Wifey is all into pain and S&M, so she is opting for a drug free birth. I don't know if she will make it, she got a hang nail last week and has been crying about it every night. And she keeps telling me about how she put Neosporin on it but it still hurts. Man, is she in for a surprise when this baby comes out! Anyways, Dr. McDreamy tells us about his syringe of power and how on his shift, anything going wrong is in the 1/10000 ratio. But he does tell us the side effects such as tingling, the epidural wearing off too soon, or "numbness in the foot...for a few months; just a minor thing." He nonchalantly mentions that your foot would be numb for a brief time of a only a measly few months and then moves onto his next topic. Now, I don't know about the rest of the world but I think if I were to be given a routine numbing agent and my foot went numb, I would be freaked out. I get worried when I play the Stranger and the Stranger stays around too long. But I guess its all about perspective and I can't blame him for that. Just always remember the old quip: don't cry over spilled milk and/or months long numbness in your foot.