Monday, March 8, 2010

America's Pasttime

So let me help clear up any confusion with the status of the baby. The baby is still chillin' in the womb. The doctors decided to give us a sense of urgency, based on their professional opinion, that the baby would come within the next 24 hours. 5 days later, we have proven the experts wrong.

Obviously, the best way to describe pregnancy in general is pretty much to juxtapose it with baseball.

Initially, you have the start of Spring Training. The pitchers and catchers report to camp first and get to work. A bond is formed. This in a nutshell mirrors conception. The man and the woman meet beforehand, get familiar, and do their business.

Then you get to Opening Day. Extremely exciting time for baseball fans. There's a lot of excitement on how the players will do and a lot of speculation of what could happen. Was Spring Training beneficial? Hello positive pregnancy test. It was only yesterday you were watching the World Series and now a new season is upon you. Are you having a boy? Are you having a girl? Who's going to be the leadoff hitter? Who's going to be the closer? Will your team win the World Series? Will I be a good dad?

And then the next few months you watch the season progress. A lot of changes occur. You get a feel for the best rotation, the best lineup. You eat a lot of food. Super Garlic Fries. Peanuts. Nachos. You get angry and you're elated. Sometimes both at the same time. 162 games? You can't make it for another 4 months. Why can't it end in now?

Then you get to the midway point. All-Star break. The fan favorites get voted to celebrate the midpoint while the others watch it from home. It's baby shower time. You invite the best relatives ($$$) and your best friends ($$$) and the others can read about it on your Facebook updates. You get to see Josh Hamilton belt out 28 homers in the first round, the highlight of the All-Star game. You get that fancy crib and matching dresser for the baby's room, the pinnacle of the shower. You get the realization that this season will end soon and all the hard work will finally pay off. It sinks in that you're about to be a dad.

The playoffs are around the corner and a lot begins to happen. Teams are signing players just for the playoffs, key players are coming back from injuries. You get your car seat installed, the nursery is decorated, you've done the baby classes. Your team is ready to make the push for the World Series. You are ready for this baby.

Then there is the first strong contraction, the beginning of the playoffs. You see the finish line ahead of yourself, you see the hoisting of the Commissioner's Trophy. Your team is facing elimination, this might be it. You ask your wife "is this it?" and prepare to go to the hospital. But its just a minor hiccup. Your team is still in it. The baby is still in the womb.

Your team wins their respective league, the celebratory champagne flows uncontrollably. You know you're going to the World Series. The water finally breaks, you know you're going to the hospital. All the hard work you've endured the past 9-10 months has finally paid off. It's time to win the big one. It's a back and forth battle, the better team will prevail. Your wife pushes, screaming at the top of her lungs, the final push is just around the corner. The crowd cheers wildly, the final pitch is almost here.

And then it happens. Pop fly, shallow left center. It's over. Maybe your team won, maybe they lost. Maybe you got a boy, maybe a girl. Either way, you hoist your child like it was the Commissioner's Trophy.

1 comment:

  1. All I can say is that Cassidy is one lucky gal---your "pitcher and catcher" reference to conception was oh so romantic.