Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Weapons of Mass Destruction

If all the old people in the world were to ever join forces and wreak havoc, the best solution would be one thing: a cute baby. Cute babies are far more potent than any weapon of mass destruction. For some odd reason old people know when there is a baby afoot and they flock. It's like their wrinkled old noses can smell a newborn baby from a mile away. We'll be in Target and I can feel their old cataract eyes peering through the aisles just to get a glimpse. Sometimes I am tempted to put a fake baby in the car seat but I realized that seeing a cute baby is probably the highlight of their old lives and I can't deprive them of that. That would be wrong.

The Baby throws up more than an Abercrombie model. Every time she eats, she spews. And usually it's all over me. The doctor said it's normal at this point because babies are just now strengthening their stomach muscles and it will just take some time before the food stays down. So right now we are going through burp cloths fairly quickly.

The Baby is starting to smile a lot more frequently and it has turned into a really fun game. We basically just try different things to get her to smile. She also has been talking up a storm. By talking I mean weird grunts. The Baby is a pretty noisy little thing. Especially in the morning when she is stretching. But as long as she isn't crying, I don't mind.

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