Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day Fail

I think I will always be that husband/father who just annually sucks at Mother's Day. Last year, under the guidance by own wife, I was told "don't worry about getting anything for me for Mother's Day." Being the dumb husband I am, I listened to her and took what she said literally. So I didn't get her anything. But she didn't mean she didn't want anything done for her. One of the main things she cherishes is my writing and last year I even neglected her the satisfaction of a Mother's Day blog post on her newly acquired day.

This year was no different. I just forgot to do stuff. Mid-week her best friend randomly texted me asking what I was doing for her, which usually meant that the Wifey knew I hadn't planned anything and was already bitching to her friend. I had plenty of ideas of things I wanted to do. But in order to do stuff, time and money are needed.

Great idea #1: I was going to take the Baby and myself to find one of those animated photo flip-book places and make a really cool photo flip-book for her. But those places only appear at birthday parties, weddings, and corporate events. I knew of no-one that was having a birthday party or wedding midweek.

Great idea #2: I thought about making her a mixed tape, like I used to do for her when we started dating, back in the early 2000s. But then I remembered the Baby has a new obsession with taking my blank cds and dragging them across the kitchen floor, scratching up their delicate surface.

Great idea #3: I planned on buying her another wedding band because she lost hers. But the ring shop I went to did not have her size on file. And I didn't want to get a ring that was too small otherwise she would take it that I thought her fingers were the size of Earl Campbell's Hot Links. I also couldn't get her a ring that was too small otherwise she would think I was remembering the skinnier days.

Great idea #4: I was going to buy her and her friend tickets to the Britney Spears concert but they beat me to it.

So my four great ideas didn't come to fruition. And my backup plan of getting her a cd or a book failed when she found her cd cheaper at Target and I forgot to get a card to go with her gifts. I also planned on writing this blog last night and having it automatically post this morning but I decided to get drunk on five bottles of Tecate and watch Hot Tub Time Machine instead. I even thought about surprising her and waking up immediately when the Baby did so she could sleep in - but my stupid 5 beer maximum prevented that as well.

So here's to my Wifey who married a husband that can't get Mother's Day right. Let's hope your daughter is more thoughtful than I.

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