Monday, February 21, 2011

Similiac is Whack

One of the most annoying questions that the Wifey receives is "are you still breastfeeding?" But it's not the question itself that is annoying, it's the way  it is asked that annoys me. The question about breastfeeding gets asked as if the Wifey was Frodo Baggins and the villagers were still in disbelief that a hobbit was on a quest across Middle Earth to destroy the ring. It's as if breastfeeding is the impossible, daunting task in which only the chosen one can see it through.

It just seems like nowadays babies and formula go hand in hand. Even hospitals send you home with Similac as a parting gift. I never knew the benefits for babies drinking straight from the tap but it really does all make sense.

The sake of convenience has paved a nice road for the ease of synthetics. But I just don't see how formula feeding is easier than breastfeeding. You know how motor oil companies have those commercials where they take engines running conventional motor oil and pit them against ones that are wearing synthetic? They should do that with breastfeeding. With formula you have to bring out the bottle, the formula, the water, and the measuring cup. Then you have to measure the powder, then pour it in the bottle, and then shake it and then the baby can finally eat. But with a breastfeeding mother, all she has to do is three simple steps:

1) whip boob out
2) smash baby face to boob
3) return boob

Of course she should always make sure there aren't any pervs who are watching. I will be honest, I still get uncomfortable when the Wifey breastfeeds in public. If there is a designated nursing area, I usually prefer to go in there but I won't object if she has to do it in the open. The Baby needs to eat and I will take that over a screaming baby any day of the week.

And there are even times that the Baby is feeding right next to me and I don't even realize it. Granted, I am probably deeply immersed in some Call of Duty and I will glance over and say, "she's done eating already?" and then I go back to demonstrating my dominance over 14 year old nerds who's head would explode if they saw a breast in real life.

But now as the Baby's appetite has expanded to solid foods, her desire for the milk has gone down. I predict she will be 95% weened off before her first birthday. That has always been the target date for the Wifey but I can tell deep down inside that she doesn't want to lose that. There is a bond that is formed between the mother and child. Even though it only lasts a few minutes, there is an incredibly strong connection. I can shove Oreos in the Baby's mouth all day long and have some type of bond but we all know Oreos are better with milk.

If there is anything about raising a child that the Wifey is adamant about, it's about breastfeeding. She is passionate. If there was a fantasy football league for breastfeeding, she would be in 10 leagues and kick ass in all of them. She would be that guy. She even has friends - some she has never met before in real life, just via internet - that solicit advice from her. I've even been told that she is their savior. I sometimes think of my wife as a self appointed authority of breastfeeding. She has formed a gang of breastfeeding women (lactivists is what they liked to be called, crazy women) and she is their leader. The Bloods, Crips, and the Milks.

Breastfeeding isn't easy. And I understand that are circumstances that a mother can't do it. But then there are those who refuse to try. It's a frustrating thing to do; an arduous task that just never ends when the baby is first born. There was a time that I yelled at the Wifey and suggested she stop and just do formula. She gave me a look and that was the last I mentioned that alternative.

But the best thing about breastfeeding is I don't have to get off the couch to get a bottle.

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