Wednesday, June 11, 2014
There's No Going Back
The Wifestradamus told me before I went to bed, "hey, I really think I am going to have this baby at 3AM. So I'll wake you up at that time." Then at 3AM she jolts me from my golden slumber and in a panic state, says, "I think my water broke."
Now, I guess I didn't initially believe her so I just thought it was a dream and casually flopped out of bed to grab a towel. And for some odd reason I looked at our linen closet and thought to myself, "hmm, which towel would be the best for water breakage?"
The Wifey contemplated going immediately to the hospital because she didn't want to risk the disappointment of driving all that way, in that much pain, and being told she hadn't dilated any. So she called her doctor and the doctor confirmed that she needed to get her ass to the hospital.
While this was going on - I didn't feel there was any real urgency - so I figured I would grab a quick shower, put up my laundry, and send some work emails. The delivery with the first baby took about four hours so I thought I had plenty of time. Meanwhile, the Baby decided to wake up with us and rather than just sleep through it all she decided that at 3:30 AM would be the most ideal time to start belting songs from Frozen.
The pain from the contractions had finally set in for the Wifey and just like the first pregnancy, all I could hear was "mother f!" She also hates any noise because that distracts her from focusing on not focusing the pain. I don't understand but as I was mentally going over the hospital bag checklist, I quietly mumbled to myself and was met with a loud and bitchy, "SHHH BE QUIET".
So barely an hour later, we were off to drop off the Baby at her grandmother's house in order to meet Pillow. The grandmother only lives two blocks away so it's not a far drive but the Wifey felt that she could not sit down at all. So she sat in the passenger seat, on her knees. Now, being the safe driver that I am, realized that not only was sitting with your butt facing the windshield unsafe, it is completely illegal. But the Wifey would not budge. In her words, "there is no way hell I am sitting down."
I drove two blocks with a backwards, unbuckled pregnant woman in my front seat.
Considering the hospital is a good 20 minute highway drive, I was able to convince the Wifey to at least lay on her side and buckle up. I made a quick call to her best friend to let her know what was going on and off we were to the hospital.
I turned on the radio, despite the no noise policy, and the first song to come on was Katy Perry's 'Dark Horse'. I just thought this song was funny because one of the lyrics is "there's no going back." And in our situation, there's no going back. This new baby was coming out. I kept on singing and emphasizing that lyric. But the Wifey didn't find it amusing as I did and shut me down.
We pulled into the hospital at about 4:30. The Wifey said she couldn't walk and she also said was going to get an epidural. I wasn't really paying attention, I was off to find a wheelchair. I wasn't able to find one as quickly as I had hoped so I headed back to the car to walk her in. But here she comes waddling in and she doesn't even make eye contact with me. She disgustedly tells me, "don't even worry about it."
We start the check in process and the nurse takes the Wifey to the room. I was parked in a 30 minutes or less spot so I needed to move the car. Not wanting to be a jerk husband, I asked her if it was okay, in which she responded, "do whatever you need to do." I came back and the Wifey was standing next to the bed as the nurse was trying her hardest to get her to climb into the bed.
When you're in that much pain, a lot of common sense seems to disappear. The Wifey was refusing to take off her pants to put on a gown and refusing to get into the bed. The nurse also wanted to put on some monitoring stuff and wait twenty minutes to get vitals. The Wifey was not going to have any of that. This new baby was coming out and coming out soon.
Realizing the speed in which things were developing, the nurse called in her reinforcements and the resident doctor. The Wifey's regular doctor was still on her way.
The Wifey eventually got her pants off and into the bed was refusing to lie on her back. I could see the resident doctor think about her schooling and come up with reasons why she needs to deliver on her back. And as soon as the Wifey turned to her back I could see the color vanish from her face.
Alarms were going off, the on-call doctor was being paged and then the resident knew what was going to happen: she was going to deliver this baby. And in twenty minutes the new baby was out and crying. TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES. It took you more time to read this post than it did for the Wifey to have this kid.
The on-call doctor comes strolling in, still asleep, and asks if anything is going on. As soon as the Wifey's regular doctor showed up, the resident was out the door to handle another call. I think she went to go throw up but either way, she did great.
At 5:05 AM, we were introduced to the newest female of the house, Penny Lea and we are smitten.
Posted by Jackson at 3:47 PM