Total Wine = Step 1 in the baby making process |
But luckily I've learned make the most of the visit and entertain myself. So here are the 5 Rules to Maintain Your Sanity in the Big Box Mega Baby Store:
1) Be charged.
Make sure your phone is charged. Sorry, let me be more specific: make sure your smart/internet-capable phone is charged. You can't survive a visit if you're limited to Snake 2. I would estimate 80% battery should be sufficient but it really depends on the visit. If you're registering for baby stuff, you should be fine. You'd be surprised how fast time flies when you're scanning random shit. But if you're returning everything that you registered for because you thought there is no way on Earth someone would buy the diaper disposal system that seals diapers shut 360 degrees in order to lock in odors - you thought wrong. Someone will buy it and you will be waiting in line to return it. In that scenario you will need a fully charged phone and maybe an extended battery.
2) Limit your attention span.
A fully charged phone will do you no good if you do not have internet or stuff to do on the phone. There is a really good chance that in the vastness of one these mega stores, there will be an internet dead spot from as soon as you walk in all the way to dumpsters in the alley behind the store. Don't try and force your phone to find that one bar of service, you will end up draining your battery further. But if you are one of the lucky few who can get service, keep your internet surfing short and sweet. You want to be able to read a quick story or maybe some tweets but don't try and watch a movie. Definitely don't even try to sneak your Kindle in and try and read a book. You will need something you can quickly stop so you can answer questions like, "how will this look in the yet to be designed nursery?" The answer: it's going to look great because you've shoved that Pinterest picture in my face a 1000 times. The reality: it's going to look like crap because, well because it's Pinterest. You can try watching Vine videos but acoustics are awful in these big buildings and you'll have your phone to your ear as if your phone is telling you a secret. Stick to material that is geared for short attention spans just to make your partner you think you don't mind shopping.
3) Hulk Smash.
4) Demo everything.
A good baby store will let you demo everything. So why not make it fun? I usually go to the baby swings and turn all them on at one time. And then I turn up the speed and music so the aisle is filled with crappy baby music. If you are up for the challenge, try getting all the baby swings to swing in unison. Some of the swings have different swing timing so you have to time it just right. I think I've gotten 4 swings in unison. I probably could have gotten more but I had to give my opinion on which breast pump looks better designed to suck the most milk. You can also go to all the baby toys and press the demo buttons just to be even more annoying. I like the toys that sing. I get all the toys to sing at the same time so it's like I am conducting my own choir. I'd probably could spend an entire day doing this if I had chance.
5) Take a break.
And if everyone is wondering, there is a diaper disposal system that seals your dirty diapers shut like those food vacs.
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ReplyDeletereally great baby store. also this is one of the informative post jex
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