Friday, June 2, 2017

Countless clichés come to mind when it comes to marriage.
  • "It's hard work."
  • "Marriage isn't easy."
  • "Marriage takes work."
Most of it's true. But I've found that marriage itself is easy. Being married makes life easier. Everything is split down the middle. Responsibilities, chores, blame, and success. Or maybe just being married to my wife makes my life easier.

We always joke about where we would be if we weren't married to each other. I imagine the Wifey living in some cute house near her work - but the inside littered with dirty clothes and unread magazines and every single cabinet door open along with every single light turned on. There would be half empty Diet Dr Peppers scattered throughout. Her pantry would be stocked with Nutella and bread and ice cream. Lots of ice cream. A mangled bottle of toothpaste in the center of a double vanity - one sick filled to the brim with makeup and stuff. And in the middle of it all, she'd be happy as a clam, shelling out 30 bucks a week for Candy Crush items.

My sky-rise apartment would be spotless, minus the pee around the toilet, but otherwise pretty clean and tidy. It would be simple and undecorated. Maybe a reclining chair and a television. Fridge would be well stocked, maybe even overstocked, and it would smell like Vietnamese food. And despite the appearance of orderliness, I would be unhappy.

I realized that my life needs some sort of chaos to function. And despite how crazy as it sounds, my wife just brings enough chaos to stabilize my life. And I know I bring the same type of chaos to her life, whether she likes it or not. Marriage is only hard if you make it hard. For the longest time (and still do at times) feel that success in marriage is about wins and losses. Winning arguments, winning fights, losing battles. But it's about respect - talking and listening to the things that make your ears bleed. All the things I hate doing. Because at the end of the day, marriage is about partnership. It's about splitting everything down the middle. It's about appreciating the chaos that comes with the stability.

Happy 10 years of marriage Wifey.

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