Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Sister Act Movies (spoiler alert!)

I have a guilty pleasure that I have to watch Sister Act when it comes on. And if Sister Act is on, chances are very high that Sister Act 2 is next. Now, there are people who will argue that Sister Act is the only one worth watching and there are those who feel Sister Act 2 was better. But I think both Sister Act movies have their positives and I refuse to pick a favorite.

Let's take the first Sister Act. It's nearly flawless from plot to character development and acting. Lovable Whoopi Goldberg, before she got all View-ey on us, at her finest. A Reno lounge singer put in witness protection at a run-down forgotten convent in the middle of crime-ridden city? Comedy gold. But what can a person posing as a nun do a convent when the only she knows how to do is sing? Lead the horrible choir of course.
Photograph: SNAP/Rex Features
There are the lovable nun misfits who befriend Whoopi, who is now known as Sister Mary Clarence. We have the shy, soft-spoken red head who has a secret talent - she has the voice of angel! Whoopi tells her to imagine trying to hold a conversation in a busy restaurant and just let ol' girl belt out some gospel. Then there is the crazy, husky nun. Chris Farley wasn't available and  he is not a woman so they got Kathy Najimy. I'll be honest, I thought she was the fat Wilson Phillips sister. Anyways, she apparently swallowed a megaphone when she was younger and has this over the top operatic voice so the Whoop tells her she needs to calm down with that mess.

They take old timey Churchy songs and remix it with current pop songs and sound so awesome that the local hoodrats come barreling in off the streets and love it. But the HNIC (head nun in charge), who is named Mother Superior, hates all the non-traditional stuff that is going on in her church and despises the Whoop. Side note, Mother Superior enters the convent in order to escape her dark past as Professor McGonagall. But anyways, the mob boyfriend finds the Whoop and tries to kill her and the nuns save her in Reno and the Pope visits and foot taps his way through the service. Pretty amazing stuff.

Now this is where the haters come in and cry foul because of the sequel. Why make a sequel if it can't be better than the first one? But I enjoyed the sequel, like I said, I have to watch both. So in Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, the nuns are in charge of some trashy school and need the street savvy Sister Mary Clarence to help them whip them into shape. This is a great sequel because the original cast is in it! We have the redhead, the big bone, and HNIC. So many sequels fail when the original cast doesn't appear, like Iron Man 2 when Terrance Howard was replaced with Don Cheadle, or when they tried to make a sequel to The Crow and Brandon Lee didn't show up (too soon?). You need the original cast. Unless it's the sequel to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and instead of using the original cast, you throw in Vanilla Freaking Ice.

Anyways, these troubled high school kids are made up of Jennifer Love Hewitt, the cool guys who rap and beatbox, some other random chicks, and Lauryn Hill. You read that correctly, Lauryn Hill. Another sidenote, her MTV Unplugged 2.0 show is one of the better Unplugged shows, up there with Nirvana's. The school is going to get shut down and the only thing that can save them is some singing competition - which happens to be the blueprint for all future singing movies/shows. Thank you Sister Act 2 for giving birth to this story line. These kids have talent but they need that missing piece - and that missing piece is Lauryn Hill. Except her mom doesn't want her to sing because she tried singing when she was younger and doesn't want to ruin her life like she almost did. Because that is the only reason in the whole world why you would tell someone they can't sing. Outside of that struggle, Lauryn sneaks out to help her school compete against rich, white kids. The Whoop soon realizes her students can't beat out these rich, white kids with rich, white people songs so she....wait for it.... tells her kids to remix that shit. And they sing and dance and - they win! It's a thrilling ending.

Why hate the sequel when you can appreciate it for what it is: just another movie with a similar story. Sure it's not the original but it still makes me laugh and I still enjoy it immensely. The songs are just as catchy and you still end up thoroughly entertained. A sequel doesn't have to be better than the original. It can be excellent in it's own right.

So, in summation, the Wifey is pregnant with number 2 and both kids will be my favorite.

Baby #2